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Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
Jerry: Tom, you are a genius!.. Tom: Yeah, I am called that a lot... Jerry: What? Genius?... Tom: No, `Tom`
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
It should really be called teethpaste.