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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.