Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Easy way to kill me: Dangle a spider from my rearview mirror while I`m driving.
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
Iām in no shape to exercise.
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.