Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?