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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.