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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
Are you reading this from a toilet? Iām writing this from one.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.