Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!