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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......