Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.