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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Only in math problems you can buy 60 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.