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Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
I`d like to give a shoutout to all the people who are going through an identity crisis, you know who you are... I think.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)