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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
Never squat with your spurs on
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.