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I put the pro in inappropriate.
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!