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life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park