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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.