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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
I should come with a warning label.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm