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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Pizza Consumed column.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.