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I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"