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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
Unless your name is β€œGoogle”, stop acting as if you know everything!
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?