Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.