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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.