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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
That`s not how I met your mother.
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
“Single and ready to mingle” is the fancy way of saying “Alone and desperate”
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D