Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…