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That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.