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Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you`re having a velociraptor.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
I`m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee, I should be OK
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.