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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
Iām the kind of guy who dreams about naps while Iām asleep.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So Iām off to find a bar with a mirror.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden