Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
To all my ex girlfriends. Don`t worry. I`m still an asshole.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.