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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.