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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
When you put ‘aspiring’ in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I’m unemployed.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?