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Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
why do i feel like you are reading this
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.