Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
I`m actually kind of handsome when you`re drunk and the light is low and there are no other dudes around and you have low standards.
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.