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If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.