Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Saw my ex with another guy at a bar last night. So I ordered a beer, took a few sips, walked over to their table, gave her date the rest of my drink and walked away... #leftovers
Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan....
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.