Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
My inner child is a drunken whore
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
The snooze button, because there’s nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!