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Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
I sent off for some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over.