Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
I decided to make a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number 1: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes?
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
A man asks a trainer in a gym - "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?" Trainer replies - "use the ATM"
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.