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The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.