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Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
is spending my children´s inheritance.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.