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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.
Are walruses just vampire manatees?