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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?