Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
I have nothing!
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat