Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
Mondays are middle finger approved
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?