Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I keep myself in just good enough shape to outrun most women and small children during emergencies.. :|
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
That fact that I need sun glasses to open my fridge means my night must have been awesome.