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If laziness was a sport, I would win first. Except I would have to send someone to except my medal.
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
Why does this membership application to the YMCA not have "The Village People" as an option for "How did you hear about us?"
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
No pants are the best pants.
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.