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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.