Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
I wish my mind had a delete button.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
It`s my birthday. I’m not just a year older, I’m also a year better and prettier ... I know your jealous ;)
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"