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Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
Iām pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
Iām going to start telling girls that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
status uploading
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.