Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.