Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
I put the hot in psychotic.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Don’t bother looking up β€œimpose.” It’s next to impossible.
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.
Shoplifting is just undocumented shopping.