Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!