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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Sorry I`m late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
In space they just call it "Jam"
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...