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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.