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If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.