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I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?