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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.