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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?