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My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Survival rule #1: Don`t go first.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
I love giving orders. My favorite is "Another one. And make it a double."