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For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.