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New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
wants to rock and roll all night
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you`re on a cruise!
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.